note to self: ashamed

Self-shame is a thing.
Ashamed = bûwsh (boosh); (by implication) to be disappointed or delayed
-Strong’s Definition
Ashamed: unwilling or restrained because of fear of shame, ridicule, or disapproval
-yourdictionary.com
I was chatting with my coach @jaudiaquinn yesterday and I was talking about how overwhelmed I am as mommypreneur.
I have this awesome program coming to help Christian creatives move mountains and make money and I’m like super excited about it…
But then this feeling set in and I couldn’t figure it out until this morning: SHAME.
I love what I do. I love to teach, encourage, and to write but I have had such a HARD time doing what I love at my own standards because I have a toddler during a pandemic.
My productivity levels have been sliced and diced y’all! And I’m the type of parent that, even with a full list of things to do, will drop it all to play trucks or go outside if my child desires it.
I was feeling full on guilty for not meeting my own expectations. I was ashamed of myself. That’s when my coach came in with a KO right on time. She said,
“You know you can lower your expectations of yourself, right? Give yourself some grace.”
It was like someone took a pin to all the pressure that had been building in my mind. I felt such a relief come over me.
Shame is not good pressure. It’s a cage. It’s unhealthy and unbalanced. It locks you in to a standard that even God himself didn’t ask of you.
If you’re feeling shame right now regarding your business or your life, I pray that you pray these words:
I release myself from all expectations, limits, and standards that God didn’t give me. I choose to operate in perfect love regarding myself and that love will cast out all fear. I have the victory, right now, with what’s in my hand. I am enough. I don’t have to DO anything to sit at the table God has already prepared for me. His visions for my life will surely come to pass. Amen.